problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
