dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
