I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
