can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
