whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
