Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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