Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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