Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
