Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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