How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
