kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
