you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
