is your mom at the bar?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
