Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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