I hate your face
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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