Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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