You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
