he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
