If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The struggles of a small town man whore
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
