found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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