I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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