You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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