I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I got chris browned last night
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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