my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think people are normalizing furries
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
