He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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