I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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