You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
