So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
