worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
