So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
