but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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