you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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