yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
