There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Less talking, more tequila
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
