I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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