He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
