R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
