New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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