What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
