Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
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Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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