I think im going to throw up on grandma
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
