she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I look better un-naked...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
