she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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