everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
