I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize