She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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