honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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