So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You ruined the universe
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
