if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
