idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
