Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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