hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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