whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he fucked my hip out of place.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
