Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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