Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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