I'm so fucking centered right now
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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