I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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