In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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