Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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