so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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