So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
