I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We named our party play list daddy issues
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
how does that bad decision feel?
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