i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
