I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
