The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
