woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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